Save-the Dates, Wedding Invitations and RSVPs…What’s the Protocol?!
July 25th, 2011 at 1:23 pm (Carl House Bridal Events, Kelsey's Wedding, Planning)
Hello everyone! I hope you all have been doing well!
My planning has been going great so far! I’m expecting my save-the-dates in the mail today, and can’t wait to send them out to my friends and family!
The first plan of action for any bride to take after booking her wedding is to send out save-the-dates and wedding invitations. Monika and I receive phone calls from brides all the time asking when they should send out save-the-dates and invitations, when to tell their guests to RSVP, and what to do if 20 people never send back their response card. I’ve come up with some basic guidelines for everyone to follow when handling mailings to guests:
Save-The-Dates
- Make an excel sheet with guest names (with suffixes so you know how to properly address envelopes!), addresses, phone numbers, and extra columns to keep track of RSVPs for showers and the wedding. It may take a while to consolidate all of the names and addresses, but it’s worth it in the long run to only have to reference one list!
- Count up how many HOUSEHOLDS you will be sending save-the-dates to, not how many people! I made the mistake of ordering WAY too many save-the-dates by looking at the number of guests. (Oh well, you live and you learn!)
- Save-the-dates can be sent out anywhere between 6 months to 4 months before the wedding. Be sure to include the date and the general location of the wedding. A good phrase to include is, “Formal invitation to follow.” This way you won’t have tons of relatives calling in to get all of the details you will be sending out later.
- Be creative with the save-the-dates! The invitations generally are the more formal of the two, so this is the time to really try to incorporate your personalities! Consider magnets instead of a traditional card stock; your guests will be much less likely to lose them, and will constantly be reminded of the wedding if they put it on their fridge.
- There is no need to put and RSVP on the save-the-date; this is simply a “head’s up” for all of the people you want to share in your special day!
Invitations
- Invitations should be sent out 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding. 2 months is the ideal amount of time. Many people forget about mailing response cards, so give them as much time as possible!
- Keep in mind that if you have your invitations printed and sent to you, it can take a couple of weeks to receive them. Plan ahead! (Re-use your excel sheet for the save-the-dates here)
- It is very important to order response cards with envelopes to include in your invitations. Buy stamps not only to mail the invitation, but also to pre-stamp the response card envelope as well. Print your address on the response card envelope too. Make it as simple as possible for your guests to RSVP, and more will actually do so.
- Set your RSVP date at least month before your event. This gives the guests plenty of time to respond, and allows you to have an accurate guest count to give to your vendors.
- Almost time for the wedding and it seems like no one has responded? Sit down with your groom one night after dinner and split the contact excel sheet in half. Call the guests who haven’t responded and say, “We just wanted to make sure you received your invitation.” A simple way to put the ball back in their court without feeling rude. This way they will respond in one of two ways; either, “Yes we did! I am sorry we haven’t gotten back to you, but yes, we will be able to make it!” or, “Yes, we did receive it, but unfortunately we will not be able to attend.” Quick and simple was to get an accurate guest count, right?
I am looking forward to sending out my save-the-dates and ordering my invitations soon! Hope you all have a fun time with them as well!
Want to see our Save the date proof? Click the link!

